


Bucky Barnes Vs. the AI-enhanced Can Opener

by ThanksForTheVenom



Series: Bucky Barnes Vs [3]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-22
Updated: 2014-09-22
Packaged: 2018-02-18 10:04:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2344427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThanksForTheVenom/pseuds/ThanksForTheVenom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky just wants to eat, is that too much to ask?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bucky Barnes Vs. the AI-enhanced Can Opener

**Author's Note:**

> This was actually the story that started this series off, which is part of the reason why it's so short.

The can-opener in Stark Tower was one of the most highly advanced can openers in the world. Bucky had no idea why a can opener would need to be advanced at all. If it wasn't broke, why did Tony "fix" it? He found himself asking that a lot of thing these days, especially the shower. What on Earth was going on with the shower? JARVIS had tied to explain all the controls, but he stopped when Bucky started sobbing, and just turned the hot water for him. As far as Bucky knew, the AI had never revealed the fact that Bucky cried in the shower for about an hour. JARVIS was a real bro, in the words of one Clint Barton. Bucky suspected that Clint had cried in the shower at least once too.

The only thing more simple then a can opener would be the wheel and people weren't exactly falling over themselves to reinvent that. Bucky regarded the can opener with narrowed eyes. It looked so innocent, laying there on the counter, as if it hadn't defeated the Winter Soldier just the week before.

He glanced down at the can of beans, then he took a deep breath and gathered his resolve. He was the Winter Soldier, he was a master assassin, and an expert sniper. He refused to be defeated by an appliance.

"You are going down today, can opener."

Their last encounter hadn’t gone smoothly at all, but Bucky was determined this time. This time he would get the fucking can opened, come hell or high water.

He fit the sharp blade against the lip of the can and turned the crank. It refused to grip the can. He tried again and again it slipped away. The third time, the damned thing gave a sullen beep and displayed a holographic users manual. 

"I don't need a goddamn instructional, I just need you to open this!"

He tried again because really, it was a can opener, how hard could it be?

Steve walked into the kitchen ten minutes later to the sight of one James Buchanan Barnes eating cold beans out of a can that looked as if it had been ripped open. The can opener was lodged in the ceiling, frantically beeping for help.

"Don't ask." Bucky bit out. Steve hadn't planned on it.


End file.
